New Ways 4 Families Counseling

Lisa is a certified in New Ways 4 Families through the High Conflict Institute and is member of the Central Texas Steering committee.

I conduct  both the 6 session Individual Counselor sessions, and the 6 session Parent-Child Therapy session.  

What Is New Ways For Families?

New Ways for Families is a structured parenting skills method to reduce the impact of conflict on the children in potentially high-conflict divorce and separation cases.

This method emphasizes strengthening skills for positive future behavior (new ways), rather than focusing on past negative behavior – while still acknowledging each parties concerns. It is designed to be an entirely out-of-court divorce resolution method, as it teaches parents the skills they need to put their children first and make their own divorce and custody agreements. It helps to protect children as their families re-organize in new ways after a separation or divorce, and teaches parents skills for long-term co-parenting. It can be used with married or never-married parents.

How Does it Work?

In some cases the judge court orders the family to work the program, but others voluntarily agree to complete the process, as it can significantly increase your chances of settling in mediation and avoiding litigation battles in court.    

1. Each parent chooses an individual therapist to work with for 6 sessions
2. Complete a Behavioral Declaration and present to your Individual therapist

        (These Declarations will be shared with the other parent’s therapist)

3.)  When individual sessions are complete, the family works with the Parent-Child therapist.  Each parent has 3 session with their children and the therapist to teach important behavioral skills

New Ways for Families is intended to teach parents the skills necessary to jointly make their parenting decisions out of court. Research shows that when parents make their own parenting decisions, they are more likely to follow the agreements.

New Ways Can be Used in:

• Family court (as a requirement prior to the court making any decisions)
• Pre- mediation
• Mediation
• Collaborative divorce
• Post-divorce with the assistance of a Parenting Coordinator or a High Conflict Case Manager.
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Goals of New Ways for Families

• To immunize families against becoming high-conflict families during the separation and the divorce process.
• To help parents teach their children resilience in this time of huge and rapid change in the foundation of their family life
• To strengthen both parent’s abilities to make parenting decisions, while relying less on experts and the courts to make their decisions for them.
• To assist professionals and the courts in assessing both parent’s potential to learn new, positive ways of problem-solving and organizing their family after a separation or divorce.
• To give parents a chance to change poor parenting behaviors (including abuse and alienation) before long-term decisions are made. This method emphasizes learning new skills for positive future behavior.

How It Works

By learning small skills in small steps, parents will learn to better communicate, manage their emotions, and make decisions that are in the best interest of their child.

New Ways for Families teaches both parents the same 4 skills at the same time, thereby eliminating the parenting contest and the tendency to label one parent as the “good parent” and one parent as the “bad parent.” This method is based on the idea that both parents need to learn the exact same skills in order to effectively use the skills in the course of their co-parenting relationship.

4 Skills

1. Flexible Thinking:

• Acknowledging that there is more than one solution to every problem

• Every concern about the past can be turned into a proposal about the future

• Making and Responding to Proposals

2. Managed Emotions:

• Controlling your anger, sadness, fear, and anxiety so as to not over-react

• Protecting your children from your extreme emotions

• Calming Yourself with Encouraging Statements

3. Moderate Behaviors:

• Avoiding extreme actions, language, and parenting requests

• Responding to hostile communications with a BIFF Response: Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm

4. Checking Yourself:

• Reminding yourself to use these skills during times of stress.

Program Models

New Ways for Families is currently available in the following models:

1. Court-Based Counseling
2. Collaborative Divorce
3. Decision Skills Class
4. Pre-Mediation Coaching